Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Week #84-"Si tu marido no te quiere.....bebe!!"

There is this new song that came out and everyone plays it all the time. But it means ´´if your husband doesn´t want you... baby!´´ it probably isn´t a very good song but it is so catchy. You should look it up. 
    Well the good news is that J got baptized! Which is really good! Now the whole family is complete in the Gospel and in a year they can go to the temple and get sealed and what not. But it wasn´t easy! Satan gave them a undercut to the clavical! So the mom had a dream that her cousin was in a really dark place and she was with some people that she had never seen in her life and they were asking help to get out of the place! Anyways we interpreted it that somebody wanted to get out of the Spirit Prison so  that she needed to go to the temple and do baptisms. But she was wondering why her cousin was there as well. Well the next day her cousin got shot in the head! Their cousin was a table dancer so I bet she got mixed up in something bad. She had her first kid by the time she was 13 and when she was 15 she had 3 kids already!!!! She was kind of unchaste haha! And they killed her! It was so bad! But L had to drive to the capital and go to the funeral and come back the same day. They were all really sad though, but J still got baptized so that was good.
     Wa and C are doing alright. W is doing a little better. They´ve started praying together every night and they told us that they´ve seen the difference in their house. It´s good that they´re doing that because they used to fight all of the time. W cheated on C like 4 years ago with her best friend so there are some trust issues haha! But we are trying to get them to go to church, but it´s hard because they don´t even have enough money to pay for their light bill. So that is kind of hard. They don´t have lights in their house. They always give us mangos though because they have like 5 mango trees! I love mangos! 
     Well not much happened this week! We are so excited for the conference! I love that kind of stuff! 
    Oh we are trying to prepare El to be the branch President which would be a huge help for the branch.  He is going to be the salvation of the Branch! So we had interviews with President this week and he said the plan is that Elder martineau is going to have transfers and that I will stay as Branch President and that I have to teach a local branch president fast. That´s why we´re trying to get E prepared. He got baptized 2 weeks ago!   But he seems down! We just got to teach him a lot!  I have never been in an area for more than like 3 months so it´ll be different for me. I´m pretty scared. Because if I like lost tithing money or something like that I would get excommunicated haha! Just kidding not really but it is a lot stuff that you have to do. Assign talks and interviews and welfare and stuff like that.
     Oh my goodness! I gave a talk yesterday and Hermana M(the 95 year old lady in our branch) started talking! She was like shouting to me and lifting her hands up but I can´t really understand her! Literally the whole branch was laughing! But she was talking about how she has a horse under her bed that won´t let her sleep because it scratches itself all night and she wanted to know if we could go and take it out! I was dying! i could not stay focused! 
     I just ate at Tacobell and it gave me instant diahrrea? How the yale do you spell that? The pills you sent are working though! Oh my goodness send like 3 more of those bath and body works hand sanitizers! I love those! I am using the ´´CHECK MEOWT´´ one right now. They are so funny.
    Oh my goodness that is so freaking awesome that the Raiders are going to Vegas!!!!! We have to go to a game! I bet Oakland people are really sad though!
   They are playing Taylor Swift songs in the computer place. God answers prayers. 
   Love you!!!! Sorry you have to get surgery! it´ll be all good though! 
Bad hair day after riding in the back of a truck

"Eating cat for dinner"'s a joke

A jawbone he found in the neighbors yard......sketchy

J Got baptized!
                                                                  KKK came to town

                                                          Inside of Bryson's house

                                                                    Outside of Bryson's house

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Week #83-"Happy Leif Ericson Day! Hu ding a ding a durgen"

(Headline is a quote from SpongeBob, haha)
Hey we didn´t eat corned beef and cabbage but I was thinking about it. There is a nice oven in the church and no one ever uses it so I thought making some good Irish food for St. Patrick´s Day but I remembered that corned beef tastes like toe nails haha! it was pretty cool though! In La Maquina it was the party week for San José which is Saint Joseph haha! And we tried to convince everyone that Saint Joseph was Joseph Smith but nobody believed us haha! But it was a good time! 
    Well the best news is that Jennifer López is going to get baptized this week! and the bad news is that H got kidnapped and taken to the USA! It is actually kind of a sad story. So H has always lived with her mom and out of nowhere her dad (who is from San Francisco) decided to step into her life and take her to the states and I don´t even think she knew her dad! But oh well! Good for her! I bet her dad is a good guy and her environment in Guatemala was pretty bad with the whole prostitution thing but we told her to look for the missionaries in San Fran so hopefully it goes well! 
    Jennifer was totally set on waiting until the end of April for her baptism because she had done a secret combination with H that they were going to do it on some specific date but we said that because H is gone that the secret combination is broken and that she was prepared to be baptized, so she is going to do it! I was way happy! 
    We are teaching this lady named Anna! We call her Ann Frank. But she has been dating this guy for like 8 years who has a wife! That is like the worst sin of all time so we just need to make her understand that she is going to go to hell if she keeps doing that! A Divorce costs 5000 Quetz and takes 3 years haha! The thing about Ann Frank is that the dude lives with her half the time and with his wife half the time! Crazy! But anyways she is like 65 too. But she wants to get baptized. Her daughter is like the most awesome member of our ward. But yeah hopefully she can drop the dude soon! I think she can do it! She just needs some tough love. 
     Also we are working with Cristina Perry and Walter (Walt Disney). they are a cool family, but they are really poor and it´s hard for them to go to church on Sunday. They were going to come but then they didn´t. Story of my mission. But anyways we have faith! 
   We found some cool people this week! This one guy went to the states and brought back a bunch of coke! And he gave us a can! And I knew from the moment it touched my tongue that it was American coke! It is not as good as Guatemalan coke but it reminded me of football and Christmas. 
    Love you!

Eating Mexican corn
It hasn't rained  for a long time in La Maquina

People dancing in the street

The Mazate Lincoln Zone

Monday, March 13, 2017

Week #82-Excuse me, I speak Jive.

Hey mom we had a pretty awesome week! I love going to the temple! It was literally the most stressful thing of all time but I honestly was so happy. I felt like I was in heaven! Anyways I´ll tell you a little bit about it!! 
    So we had to wake up at 4 to get ready and everything and we were supposed to leave at 530 to get to Xela at like 1030 to get ready for the session at 1120. So we get to the church and there were some members out front waiting for us at 5 in the morning! Anyways the bus driver wasn´t there and he usually gets there early! We called him at 530 and the dude had completely  forgotten and we woke him up! So he said that he would be there in an hour! He got there at 7! And we got to Xela at 11:15 and we were late for the session so we had to divide the branch into two groups and some got in for the 11:20 session and the rest of us at 1:00. And we got home at like 8:30 and Martineau almost died in the temple haha! Okay, so,  Martineau sat in front of me and he turns around and asks me if his face was pale and it was! Oh my goodness he looked so white! He almost passed out in the middle of the session and he just slept the rest of the way home haha! I think it was for stress and that he didn´t eat or drink the whole day. 
    Anyways I have to tell you about some members that are seriously so incredible! So there is a 6 year convert named Is! Him and his wife named Lu live like an hour away from the chapel and they go to church every single week. Also Is is blind. Well they woke up at 3 to get to the chapel by 5 just to wait until 7 for the bus! I had to guide Is around the temple with me all day but it was so incredible to see how much faith that guy has! Pastors from other churches always go to his house to try to get him to go to their church and he always just testifies of the Book of Mormon and invites them to church. He is so awesome. it was great to spend the day with him. I didn't get pictures because I had to take him around with me everywhere I went! But it was crazy! And there were like 20 stakes there! I saw a bunch of people from my old areas! it was so cool! But oh my goodness it was the longest session of all time because there were literally 40 old, half dead people in the session. I have no idea why there were so many old people there! It must have been bingo night at the temple or something. 
    Also Hermana M. She is this 95 year old lady whose family literally stuffs her in this little shack because they go to a an evangelica church and they are mad that she is so devoted to our church! Anyways we passed by hermama M house in the morning on the way to the temple and there she was faithfully waiting for us in her Absolute Vodka sweatshirt. It was so funny! We picked her up and threw her in the bus and went off the Xela. So you literally can´t understand a word she says! And she lost her recommend so I had to try to find her ID to try to get all of her information. I found her ID but I thought that it was her husbands because of the picture! But it turns out it was her ID but the picture was just really bad and she looked like a man! Hopefully she forgives me for that. But honestly those members are so faithful and it is so incredible that in Utah we literally have a temple like 5 seconds away from us and a chapel 2 seconds away from us and we don´t go. So crazy. 
      Anyways it was a crazy trip. To explain my caption. When drunk people come up to us they suddenly know how to speak English. the devil has the gift of tongues too. Anyways they were all probably deported from the US and learned a little English but when they start talking to me I just start talking to them in jive, like in the movie Airplane. And they have no idea what I said and get confused and walk away. it is so classic! 
    Our investigators are doing good! We have like 3 that are pretty close to accepting a date! 
The Steelers lost Timmons??!! Awww freak, I love Timmons!
  Anyway, Love you! Have a good week! I'll talk to you next week!
Bryson's favorite dog in his area

On the bus to the Xela Temple

Witches casting spells on the fields

Monday, March 6, 2017

Week #81-March the 4th be with you

Well that was such a good week! The L Family got baptized which was great! We had to get them married first which was some pretty shady business haha! We have a lawyer who lives in Cuyotenango and she always helps the missionaries with the weddings so that they aren´t so expensive! She just gave us the paper that she typed up and then we took it to the L Family that very day and El and Lo just signed it! It was insane! I could literally see that their sin had fully been repented of when I looked at the paper! So that was on Thursday and then on Saturday they got baptized! 
      J did not get baptized which was a bummer! She felt really bad though that she was the only one in her whole family that didn´t get baptized! So yesterday she came up to me at church and told me that she wants to get baptized this month with her friend H! But she said she wants it to be a surprise for her family. I told her she was nuts for wanting it to be a surprise! But This month she is going to do it with her friend! I honestly don´t understand.
     But that is all good! This week hopefully everything goes good! We found this guy named Edwin a while ago and he has never been baptized and he doesn´t go to any church! He told us that he was going to come to church yesterday and we called him and he said that he was going to go but then he didn´t! Strange! But he´s cool! 
      We literally only teach people that live far away which is hard but it´s good fun! Acxel got way sick and they rushed him to the hospital from Tahuexco which is way far away and they had to borrow like 500 quetzales to get it but the weird thing is that he didn´t need to go to the hospital at all! He had like dengue or something like that and you pretty much can´t do anything about it. Just drink water pretty much. He then got to La Maquina way late at night and they called us to see if they could stay the night in the church because there´s no transportation back to Tahuexco after like 4. But we called this guy named Gerber and he went all the way to Tahuexco and back just to drop them off with their kids at 9 at night! Gerber´s a good guy. He´s from Xela and isn´t ´part of our ward but he works in La Maquina so he always helps us out! 
      Anyways this week I started doing this thing where I will read all of the standard works and mark every verse about Jesus. Apparently,  President Nelson challenged somebody to do it so I´m going to try to do it before the end of my mission. President Nelson did it in like 3 hours while performing 3 open heart surgeries I guess, so hopefully I can do it before the end of my mission! Oh my goodness, James Harrison signed for two more years with the Steelers? He's older than the coaches!  Love you! 

The L family

The happy couple
Drinking orange juice in the lawyers office