Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Week #19

So I have good news. I called the office about my package because I couldn´t believe that I didn´t get it! But anyways they have it. I have a friend in the office so I called him and he says everything is good. But the APs came here to my zone and I called them and asked them if they would bring it and they forgot it! But my ZLs are going to Reu right now so they are going to bring it I hope ha ha!
    So this week was really weird and I did not like it! My companion is literally dying!! He has something wrong with his stomach and he has no idea what it is. He took like a thousand tests and they all came back negative! So we don´t know what to do about that! He´s like dying though. So we didn´t get a lot done this week because he was throwing up or destroying the toilet the whole week!! Poor kid! I gave him the stocking that you guys sent him.We are doing better as a companionship. We talk a lot more than we used to which is good stuff! Elder Varela is a good kid, "and is good with kids!" 
    So I am going to tell you about the chickens and the ducks that I killed again because it is a good story and the people want to hear it! So I was on divisions with an Elder named Elder Ramierez and we went to the house of a convert named Chepe so he could make us dinner. So when we got there the family of Chepe (Who are not members but know the missionaries very well) decided that they wanted us to kill their chickens and ducks for Christmas to make Tamales. So I was excited at first because I have always wanted to kill a chicken on my mission and finally I got my opportunity! How naive of me.... So they had me chase down their Chicken that they had for 4 years named Juan! I got him, took some pictures of him (He was quite a handsome rooster and majestic) and then we went to their shower to kill him. I thought it was easy and quick to kill chickens but not when you have a freaking butter knife to do it!!!! They gave me literally the worst knife in the world!!! I thought you got a giant butchers knife and then just cut of the head and that was it but noooooooo, I literally sat there cutting off his head for 15 minutes!! And after that amount of time we went through 3 knifes and I decided I couldn´t do it so I let Elder Ramierez finish him off! And finally we killed him. They didn´t let us cut off all of the head because they eat the head too. Then they had me kill 3 ducks in the same way (ducks are easier to kill). So I got the first duck and started sawing at his neck, it didn´t take too long and then we left him there to bleed out for a while. So I thought the duck was dead for sure because only half of his neck was attached and a ton of blood had come out of it. So I let go of his head and immediatly it lifts his head up like a freaking zombie!!!!! I screamed and steped back and they cut the rest of the head off (They don´t eat the head of ducks) and got soaked in duck blood. And then i did it two more times. I never want to eat chicken ever again, or duck. I have videos that I will try to send.
    As far as Christmas went, everyone was drunk out of there minds and like a thousand bolos (drunk old men) came up and hugged me and we invited them to church. I ate 39 zillion tamales (I have pictures of what a tamale looks like here). And my companion was throwing up the whole time so we went home early and I read Jesus the Christ while my companion died.
    We were supposed to have a baptism Sunday morning at 7 but the ladies mom (who is very evangelica) told her that she needed to prepare more which is straight crap! So she wants to move back the date so she can "prepare" (procrastonate). Charly is good I think. He may get bapatized if the President ever decideds to come inverview him.
    I went to McDonald´s today because my companion had to poo in a cup so while we waited for his results we bought some kit kat McFlurries (Which is the greatest invention of all time) and all they had today was Football!! I watched the highlights from nearly every game so I saw Cam Newton and the Panthers finally lose. Aaron Rodgers fumble like 40 times. And I deffinatly saw the Steelers highlights too. But it is okay. Él vive!!!!! That is my new moto.
     Love you. I will send some pictures!!!!! And maybe some border line rated R videos of slaughter of those birds.Email me!
       Gooooooo Bills!
Family in Pamalita

Sheep his 1st day in Compromiso

Dog that has weird eyes, but loves Bryson

The "gross" baptismal font

Juan, the chicken, that Bryson tried to kill with a dull knife

They thought he was dead.......

Elder dip the chicken in boiling water before you defeather it.

"Lazurus" the duck. Bryson named him Lazurus because he came back to life, haha.

Lazurus' head

defeathering the duck

What tamales look like in Guatemala

Christmas Poster

Bryson's Christmas gift from companion?? maybe??

Another Christmas gift

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