Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Week #19

So I have good news. I called the office about my package because I couldn´t believe that I didn´t get it! But anyways they have it. I have a friend in the office so I called him and he says everything is good. But the APs came here to my zone and I called them and asked them if they would bring it and they forgot it! But my ZLs are going to Reu right now so they are going to bring it I hope ha ha!
    So this week was really weird and I did not like it! My companion is literally dying!! He has something wrong with his stomach and he has no idea what it is. He took like a thousand tests and they all came back negative! So we don´t know what to do about that! He´s like dying though. So we didn´t get a lot done this week because he was throwing up or destroying the toilet the whole week!! Poor kid! I gave him the stocking that you guys sent him.We are doing better as a companionship. We talk a lot more than we used to which is good stuff! Elder Varela is a good kid, "and is good with kids!" 
    So I am going to tell you about the chickens and the ducks that I killed again because it is a good story and the people want to hear it! So I was on divisions with an Elder named Elder Ramierez and we went to the house of a convert named Chepe so he could make us dinner. So when we got there the family of Chepe (Who are not members but know the missionaries very well) decided that they wanted us to kill their chickens and ducks for Christmas to make Tamales. So I was excited at first because I have always wanted to kill a chicken on my mission and finally I got my opportunity! How naive of me.... So they had me chase down their Chicken that they had for 4 years named Juan! I got him, took some pictures of him (He was quite a handsome rooster and majestic) and then we went to their shower to kill him. I thought it was easy and quick to kill chickens but not when you have a freaking butter knife to do it!!!! They gave me literally the worst knife in the world!!! I thought you got a giant butchers knife and then just cut of the head and that was it but noooooooo, I literally sat there cutting off his head for 15 minutes!! And after that amount of time we went through 3 knifes and I decided I couldn´t do it so I let Elder Ramierez finish him off! And finally we killed him. They didn´t let us cut off all of the head because they eat the head too. Then they had me kill 3 ducks in the same way (ducks are easier to kill). So I got the first duck and started sawing at his neck, it didn´t take too long and then we left him there to bleed out for a while. So I thought the duck was dead for sure because only half of his neck was attached and a ton of blood had come out of it. So I let go of his head and immediatly it lifts his head up like a freaking zombie!!!!! I screamed and steped back and they cut the rest of the head off (They don´t eat the head of ducks) and got soaked in duck blood. And then i did it two more times. I never want to eat chicken ever again, or duck. I have videos that I will try to send.
    As far as Christmas went, everyone was drunk out of there minds and like a thousand bolos (drunk old men) came up and hugged me and we invited them to church. I ate 39 zillion tamales (I have pictures of what a tamale looks like here). And my companion was throwing up the whole time so we went home early and I read Jesus the Christ while my companion died.
    We were supposed to have a baptism Sunday morning at 7 but the ladies mom (who is very evangelica) told her that she needed to prepare more which is straight crap! So she wants to move back the date so she can "prepare" (procrastonate). Charly is good I think. He may get bapatized if the President ever decideds to come inverview him.
    I went to McDonald´s today because my companion had to poo in a cup so while we waited for his results we bought some kit kat McFlurries (Which is the greatest invention of all time) and all they had today was Football!! I watched the highlights from nearly every game so I saw Cam Newton and the Panthers finally lose. Aaron Rodgers fumble like 40 times. And I deffinatly saw the Steelers highlights too. But it is okay. Él vive!!!!! That is my new moto.
     Love you. I will send some pictures!!!!! And maybe some border line rated R videos of slaughter of those birds.Email me!
       Gooooooo Bills!
Family in Pamalita

Sheep his 1st day in Compromiso

Dog that has weird eyes, but loves Bryson

The "gross" baptismal font

Juan, the chicken, that Bryson tried to kill with a dull knife

They thought he was dead.......

Elder dip the chicken in boiling water before you defeather it.

"Lazurus" the duck. Bryson named him Lazurus because he came back to life, haha.

Lazurus' head

defeathering the duck

What tamales look like in Guatemala

Christmas Poster

Bryson's Christmas gift from companion?? maybe??

Another Christmas gift

Thursday, December 24, 2015

December 23rd-1st Skype of the mission

Bryson got to Skype with us for quite a while. He told us a bunch of different stories, including how he had to cut off a chickens head with a dull butter knife the day before. He hated that experience. He has a parasite, but is on medicine and is feeling a little better. Christmas is celebrated on December 24th in Guatemala where they eat tamales as part of their celebration (not the yummy tamales we are used to here in the States). The best food he's ever had in Guatemala is beef, that one member fed to him at some point. He says it is rare to find anyone who can afford beef. We got to hear him speak quite a bit of Spanish as once in a while he had to speak with people around him. He has an accent for sure. He said where the Lord has not blessed him with many baptisms, it has been made up for with the language. He feels he has learned the language well. He's in an area where they speak a lot of K'iche' mixed with Spanish, but he feels like he's catching on well. He's catching on to the currency conversion there and learning how to spend his Quetzals. He bought a pair of Dre Beats for $13 (you can kind of see him wearing them in the picture and I'm sure they are not authentic Dre Beats, haha) It was great to (kind of ) see his face and to hear his voice!! The camera on the laptop he was using was not good quality as you can see from the picture. We had him hooked up to the TV, but the picture quality on the TV was so bad, that it was easier to see his face on the cell phone. He seemed to be in good spirits and loving his time in Guatemala.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Week #18

 Hello mama! I had a really interesting week. It was good and bad but I think more than anything it was good! Not a lot of big stuff happened this week but I do have some stuff to tell.
   So first off I was pretty down this week! I have come to realize that I have literally been sick for twenty years straight and I was really mad about that. I figured out what my problem was though and I got the right medicine finally so you don´t have to worry about poor old Elder Gallagher. So anyways I was pretty down this week. I was feeling bad for myself because my companion didn´t want to work, I was really sick and in all reality I just wanted to sit on a toilet all day with 20 rolls of toilet paper. But on Wednesday we had our mission christmas party all the message from the President was given directly at me! It helped me so much. And then I got the package from Brett Finklea and that family (I didn´t get yours), The letters from the Finklea family were some of the greatest letters I have ever seen! I took a picture of the letter from Brooklyn but I forgot my camera again but it was the funniest letter I have ever seen! I will show you next week! But I sure love the Finklea family! They are the greatest people! Anyways that letter helped me feel a thousand times better! I was feeling so bad and it is crazy how just a few inspired words from the President and some short but sincere letters from a family can change your whole mode and feeling! It was a good day.
    Also I have some funny stories. So there is this bar in our area where the drunk old men like to hang out. They start drinking at about 10 in the morning and that is when we leave the house. anyways everytime we pass the corner the drunk people (called bolos) always want us to preach to them. So of course we preach the word of wisdom and eternal life to all men who repent and fininish with an invitation to church. The bolos never come to church because they usually forget what happened. But Sunday one came!! He came to church and he was actually very drunk so I didn´t know what to do but I don´t think Jesus would turn him away so I of course let him in! He sat with us and after 5 minutes he wanted to leave because he felt so guilty! I told him to stay and that everyone was welcome but he really wanted to leave. I couldn´t keep him there so he left. It was sad but hopefully he comes back. I´m sure I will see him soon.
     My ward is kind of strange. We only had 51 people come to church today which is very low. But you would be shocked if you saw the church here. For example! We were in Priesthood yesterday and they were ordaining a new decon. So the bishop says ´´this is the job for the President´´ so I thought he meant the presdient of the young mens or something, but he meant the President of the Decons (also the only decon in the ward). So this little gordito waddles up to the front to ordain this little 75 pound kid the the Aaronic Priesthood and the the office of a Decon! And I looked at my companion and he looked at me and we just shook our heads. We didn´t want to embarass the bishop so we waited to tell him. The poor Decon´s Quorum President looked so helpless as the bishop whispered the words in his ears! Poor kid! And once it came time for the blessing part of it he just sat there and looked at us like ´´What the heck do you want me to say?!´´ But we got it figured out!
   A kind of sad thing happened this week. We´re teaching this kid named Ch*** and he it set to be baptized this Saturday the 26th. He ended up telling us that he went to jail for two years (he is 16 by the way) on false charges. I was like ´´You´ve got to be kidding me!´´ I believed him that they were false charges but they weren´t and now the President has to talk with him! But this kid is ready to change! He comes to church on his own every sunday at 8! He has a really strong tesitmony of repentance and all I want to talk about with him is that any sin can by forgiven through the Atonement! I hope the interview goes well with the President! 
   Anyways things are good. The members give us nothing but tamales. And these tamales are different than in the states. They are literally giant bone that may or may not have meat on it stuffed inside a bunch of corn dough. It is literally the worst thing that has hit the earth. Also a lady this week decided to serve us a  nice generous serving of pig brain. I would rather eat my own armpit hairs mixed with my belly button lint than eat that ever again. I threw up for seven hours after that.
    Love you guys! Nice job with the Steelers! thanks for not sending my pictures of the game because i don´t even like to see highlights anyways. Just kidding I guess it is fair because I didn´t bring my camera again. Ha ha Merry Chirstmas! ´´And God bless us......... Every one!!´´ Literally I have never hated a quote more than that one. I don´t know why it just bugs the stuff out of me.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Week #17

Hello Mommy! Well I had ch-ch-ch-ch-chages (Like the song from the Shrek 2 album. What a classic movie album. I hope you know the song I am talking about. I´m pretty sure David Bowie sings in the song) Anyways yeah I had changes which is really very odd. I should not have changes already but the Lord sent me to a different area so that is that. I´ve already had freaking 4 companions and I don´t even have 4 months! What is wrong with me? I have no idea. Anyways it has really sad leaving Pamalita and Reu because they are literally like my family. Elder Fickes, Elder Gayheart and Elder Ellsworth are all there and they are literally like my brothers but oh well life goes on.
   Anyways they sent me to an area in the city Mazatenango!!!! Mazatenago is literally the area that I always wanted to go to when I was in Reu every P Day! It is the greatest city in Guatemala besides Guatemala City. They have Subways, TacoBell, Wendy´s, Pollo Campéro, Pizza Hut and literally everything you could want and it is all in my area! For short they call Mazatenango Mazate. It´s a way nice area but it was so sad leaving Pamalita because they baptized Bryan and Hiedi two days ago! My last night I was there I went to give them a lesson and it was the greatest lesson of all time! I can´t believe how changed they were from the first time I met them. When I met them the first time they didn´t want to get married or nothing they didn´t even want to talk with us! But the last lesson they had no idea that I was leaving the next day and I started bawling my eyes out because I was so sad to leave them! But hey at least they got married and baptized and everything turned out really good!
     So my area is really rich that I am in. Everyone has houses, a lot of people have cars, and literally everyone has shoes! I was so shocked by the shoes thing for some reason! It reminds me of that spongebob episode when they are looking in the magazine of the rich people and Spongebob goes ´´Wow he is so rich he has a pool inside of his pool´´ and Patrick goes ´´And he has shoes!´´ So classic!
    Speaking of shoes if I was at home right now I know for a fact that Colin would be playing Christmas Shoes and crying in the car! And I would be blasting O, Holy Night´´ By Celine Dion because it is the greatest song ever!
    And lastly about my new companion...... So in our mission we have a big meeting in Reu and everyone who is changing areas comes to Reu. So they went through the whole proccess and what have you and I found out I was going to Mazate and my companion´s name is Elder V. I heard a little bit about him before I met him.  Anyways this is his last change in the mission so he wants to go home to Honduras. I don´t know. I am sick of being nice. I´m sick of not baptizing.  We´ll see how it goes. He is a nice guy. I told him that we have to break his record of baptisims this change because this change is 2 weeks longer. Also when I got here we had no investigators so that is a problem that I am trying to fix with him. Good heavens.
    As for the Steelers!!!! I love that stuff! I can´t believe Andy Dalton tried to tackle Stephon Tuitt! That dude is HUGE! But good stuff! How is the Wild Card stuff looking? I have no idea if the Broncos are good or not anymore. They seem really off and on.  Also I can Skype you the 23. That is the day. So make sure your Skype works and everything. It will probably be in the night. Anyways email me! Love you! 

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Week #16

The following was the first email I got from Bryson today and I sat at my desk and cried until he sent me another one, haha Emoji:

"We literally just had an earthquake! That was crazy fun! Everyone is okay! And nothing is broken!"

Here is his main email for the week:

Hey mama! It was an alright week! We didn't have any baptisms which was a bummer but hopefully we will have some this week! Ha ha nice Jen Brown giving props to Will Ure! I always said that he was underrated and nobody listened to me! Also I had a tender mercy this morning when I was eating breakfast in Pollo Campero and the highlight from the Steelers Colts game came on! I was so pumped! I got to see all the touchdowns and was so happy to catch a little glimpse of some good old football! I was very satisfied! If it isn't too big of a problem then I would like the weight set but if it is a problem then get it out of there! Also I got three giant packages of Candy from you, Shalese and Ryan and Em and Caren and Grandma! I was so happy! They came! Also i got a letter from you from September! Good stuff!
     So yeah this week was good not great. I went to El Codo on Saturday and had to ride a bike of one of the members because the bikes from the mission were broken. And literally the seat was made out of concrete! It hurt so bad! I will never be able to sit comfortably ever again! But El Codo was alright. It is really hot there. And it hasn't rained in over a week here! So it was a really hot week.
    So while I was in El Codo my companion went on divisions with my best friend in the mission Elder Gayheart!  But that is where things are going right now! I'm not going to lie I am trying really hard, but sometimes I want to punch a hole in the wall which would be impossible here because literally every wall is pure concrete! But I could maybe do it if I was mad enough
    During the Christmas season here there are a lot of fire crackers and stuff and like fireworks that are literally bombs! So the missionaries like to try to scare us with fireworks. It was like seven thirty one morning and I had already done my morning routine so I went to study early! Elder Galicia was in the shower. And Elder Fikes and his companion somehow got into the house and threw a bomb in the center of the floor. I heard the noise of the firework landing on the gound and thought it was just Elder Galicia but the shower was still going so I turned around and saw a huge bomb 5 feet away from me and plugged my ears! It explode a half a second later and I felt like i was in Saving Private Ryan or something! I couldn't hear anything and there was smoke everywhere and paper and stuff it was so funny!
     Also we went to Champerico today for P Day to go to the beach and it was so incredible! There was nobody there and it is such a pretty beach! I need to invest in a resort there or something! Anyways we played football and all that good stuff!
     So we have been teaching a family for a while. It's is just a husband and a wife named Bryan and Hiedi. They are so cool! they have rejected the missionaries a thousand times but finally let us teach them! We talked about baptism and stuff and they are ready to get baptized this Saturday but they have to get married first! They told me that they just want an eternal family! So I think we can to it this week! They are awesome people!
      We got to watch a christmas devotional yesterday from Salt Lake! it was so classic! We brought 7 investigators to it and they were all so bored but I loved it! Especially the music because I love stuff in english now! But yeah that was good stuff yesterday! Pray that we will get baptisms this week because if we don't I am going to go on a rampage! Ha ha!
       Love you! Good luck with selling the house I have some good pictures to send! Email me!
Bryson on the roof of his apartment

Beach for P-day

Bryson said he's sitting on a "unicorn", I think it's a seahorse, haha

Destroyed candy I sent him

A letter that took 3 months to get there!

His new apartment next month

Spider when he had to shower with a bucket


His zone on the beach

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Week #15

Oh my gosh I woke up this morning and I went to McDonalds and they were playin the Steelers Seahawks highlights and que chafa! I was so mad! I saw Antonio Brown eat the ground and that was totally Richard Shermans fault! And Elder Fickes loves the Seahawks! Oh well such is life! Also glad to see that Shalese finally joined a gang (she gave a gang sign during one of our Thanksgiving pictures, haha). I knew it was only a matter of time, living in Ogden and what not. But I prefer a good Crip over a Blood but hey Shalese can make her own decisions. Also I was literally thinking on Thursday ´´who is going to say they prayer at thanksgiving now that I´m gone????´´ But It looks like you had that covered more or less! But God answered your prayer mom becasue on Thanksgiving I ate like 700000000 zillion pounds of turkey, pumpkin pie, apple pie, and so much mashed potatoes! I have literally never been more full in my entire life!
    So this week was good I guess! Our numbers really sucked but they say it isn´t about the numbers so that is alright. We have this family that we have been teaching for a while and a member of the ward and his family literally come to every lesson that we teach them. And they finally came to church on Sunday so that´s the good stuff (like the song by Kenny Chesney). But yeah the dad is named Bryon and he is literally the anti-Chapin! He got in a really bad motorcycle accident because some dogs ran in front of him in the middle of the road. And if that happened to any Guatemalan they would go dog hunting for like a year because the only reason that people have dogs here is so they can have something to beat when they are mad! But he said ´´It´s not the dogs fault, they don´t know any better.´´ And he was talking to us about parenting and he said that it is better not to hit your kids! I couldn´t believe it because literally every person here beats their kids for a punishment! He is such a great guy. Him and his wife need to get married first though which is expensive but whatever. So hopefully they can get married.
    Also a funny but really sad story that happened this week! So there are like a thousand phrases to say that somebody died in Guatemala! Anyways so we went to a members house this week and we were talking and I asked her where her dog was and she said ´´ella colgó los tenis´´ and I had no clue what that meant becasue I don´t know that much slang! But appearantly it means that she died! It was funny because she was crying and I had no idea why! But it was sad because the dog just barely birthed 5 cute little puppies and she was a really cute dog named Canela. Oh well. And three cute little puppies died of a different member in the ward so that is sad becuse there is only one pupp left. I sent all the pictures of those dogs to you I think!
    Anyways it was an alright week. I went on divisions with my zone leader Elder Lagos and he is the greatest person ever! He has 22 (like the song) months in the mission! We ran into a really drunk guy that lived in the states for a while so he knew a little bit of english. The drunk people we call bolos! Anyways so everyone knows that most of the Mormons speak english so he started talking to me in English and offered me some of his alcohol and said ´´NO ITS CLEAN! HAVE SOME´´ And he said the f word 70000000 times and it was so funny but bad I guess. Anyways it was an alright week. I have more stuff to say but It isn´t that important or entertaining so I´ll just leave it at that. Who do the Steelers play next week? Love you email me fast!