Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Week #19

So I have good news. I called the office about my package because I couldn´t believe that I didn´t get it! But anyways they have it. I have a friend in the office so I called him and he says everything is good. But the APs came here to my zone and I called them and asked them if they would bring it and they forgot it! But my ZLs are going to Reu right now so they are going to bring it I hope ha ha!
    So this week was really weird and I did not like it! My companion is literally dying!! He has something wrong with his stomach and he has no idea what it is. He took like a thousand tests and they all came back negative! So we don´t know what to do about that! He´s like dying though. So we didn´t get a lot done this week because he was throwing up or destroying the toilet the whole week!! Poor kid! I gave him the stocking that you guys sent him.We are doing better as a companionship. We talk a lot more than we used to which is good stuff! Elder Varela is a good kid, "and is good with kids!" 
    So I am going to tell you about the chickens and the ducks that I killed again because it is a good story and the people want to hear it! So I was on divisions with an Elder named Elder Ramierez and we went to the house of a convert named Chepe so he could make us dinner. So when we got there the family of Chepe (Who are not members but know the missionaries very well) decided that they wanted us to kill their chickens and ducks for Christmas to make Tamales. So I was excited at first because I have always wanted to kill a chicken on my mission and finally I got my opportunity! How naive of me.... So they had me chase down their Chicken that they had for 4 years named Juan! I got him, took some pictures of him (He was quite a handsome rooster and majestic) and then we went to their shower to kill him. I thought it was easy and quick to kill chickens but not when you have a freaking butter knife to do it!!!! They gave me literally the worst knife in the world!!! I thought you got a giant butchers knife and then just cut of the head and that was it but noooooooo, I literally sat there cutting off his head for 15 minutes!! And after that amount of time we went through 3 knifes and I decided I couldn´t do it so I let Elder Ramierez finish him off! And finally we killed him. They didn´t let us cut off all of the head because they eat the head too. Then they had me kill 3 ducks in the same way (ducks are easier to kill). So I got the first duck and started sawing at his neck, it didn´t take too long and then we left him there to bleed out for a while. So I thought the duck was dead for sure because only half of his neck was attached and a ton of blood had come out of it. So I let go of his head and immediatly it lifts his head up like a freaking zombie!!!!! I screamed and steped back and they cut the rest of the head off (They don´t eat the head of ducks) and got soaked in duck blood. And then i did it two more times. I never want to eat chicken ever again, or duck. I have videos that I will try to send.
    As far as Christmas went, everyone was drunk out of there minds and like a thousand bolos (drunk old men) came up and hugged me and we invited them to church. I ate 39 zillion tamales (I have pictures of what a tamale looks like here). And my companion was throwing up the whole time so we went home early and I read Jesus the Christ while my companion died.
    We were supposed to have a baptism Sunday morning at 7 but the ladies mom (who is very evangelica) told her that she needed to prepare more which is straight crap! So she wants to move back the date so she can "prepare" (procrastonate). Charly is good I think. He may get bapatized if the President ever decideds to come inverview him.
    I went to McDonald´s today because my companion had to poo in a cup so while we waited for his results we bought some kit kat McFlurries (Which is the greatest invention of all time) and all they had today was Football!! I watched the highlights from nearly every game so I saw Cam Newton and the Panthers finally lose. Aaron Rodgers fumble like 40 times. And I deffinatly saw the Steelers highlights too. But it is okay. Él vive!!!!! That is my new moto.
     Love you. I will send some pictures!!!!! And maybe some border line rated R videos of slaughter of those birds.Email me!
       Gooooooo Bills!
Family in Pamalita

Sheep his 1st day in Compromiso

Dog that has weird eyes, but loves Bryson

The "gross" baptismal font

Juan, the chicken, that Bryson tried to kill with a dull knife

They thought he was dead.......

Elder dip the chicken in boiling water before you defeather it.

"Lazurus" the duck. Bryson named him Lazurus because he came back to life, haha.

Lazurus' head

defeathering the duck

What tamales look like in Guatemala

Christmas Poster

Bryson's Christmas gift from companion?? maybe??

Another Christmas gift

Thursday, December 24, 2015

December 23rd-1st Skype of the mission

Bryson got to Skype with us for quite a while. He told us a bunch of different stories, including how he had to cut off a chickens head with a dull butter knife the day before. He hated that experience. He has a parasite, but is on medicine and is feeling a little better. Christmas is celebrated on December 24th in Guatemala where they eat tamales as part of their celebration (not the yummy tamales we are used to here in the States). The best food he's ever had in Guatemala is beef, that one member fed to him at some point. He says it is rare to find anyone who can afford beef. We got to hear him speak quite a bit of Spanish as once in a while he had to speak with people around him. He has an accent for sure. He said where the Lord has not blessed him with many baptisms, it has been made up for with the language. He feels he has learned the language well. He's in an area where they speak a lot of K'iche' mixed with Spanish, but he feels like he's catching on well. He's catching on to the currency conversion there and learning how to spend his Quetzals. He bought a pair of Dre Beats for $13 (you can kind of see him wearing them in the picture and I'm sure they are not authentic Dre Beats, haha) It was great to (kind of ) see his face and to hear his voice!! The camera on the laptop he was using was not good quality as you can see from the picture. We had him hooked up to the TV, but the picture quality on the TV was so bad, that it was easier to see his face on the cell phone. He seemed to be in good spirits and loving his time in Guatemala.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Week #18

 Hello mama! I had a really interesting week. It was good and bad but I think more than anything it was good! Not a lot of big stuff happened this week but I do have some stuff to tell.
   So first off I was pretty down this week! I have come to realize that I have literally been sick for twenty years straight and I was really mad about that. I figured out what my problem was though and I got the right medicine finally so you don´t have to worry about poor old Elder Gallagher. So anyways I was pretty down this week. I was feeling bad for myself because my companion didn´t want to work, I was really sick and in all reality I just wanted to sit on a toilet all day with 20 rolls of toilet paper. But on Wednesday we had our mission christmas party all the message from the President was given directly at me! It helped me so much. And then I got the package from Brett Finklea and that family (I didn´t get yours), The letters from the Finklea family were some of the greatest letters I have ever seen! I took a picture of the letter from Brooklyn but I forgot my camera again but it was the funniest letter I have ever seen! I will show you next week! But I sure love the Finklea family! They are the greatest people! Anyways that letter helped me feel a thousand times better! I was feeling so bad and it is crazy how just a few inspired words from the President and some short but sincere letters from a family can change your whole mode and feeling! It was a good day.
    Also I have some funny stories. So there is this bar in our area where the drunk old men like to hang out. They start drinking at about 10 in the morning and that is when we leave the house. anyways everytime we pass the corner the drunk people (called bolos) always want us to preach to them. So of course we preach the word of wisdom and eternal life to all men who repent and fininish with an invitation to church. The bolos never come to church because they usually forget what happened. But Sunday one came!! He came to church and he was actually very drunk so I didn´t know what to do but I don´t think Jesus would turn him away so I of course let him in! He sat with us and after 5 minutes he wanted to leave because he felt so guilty! I told him to stay and that everyone was welcome but he really wanted to leave. I couldn´t keep him there so he left. It was sad but hopefully he comes back. I´m sure I will see him soon.
     My ward is kind of strange. We only had 51 people come to church today which is very low. But you would be shocked if you saw the church here. For example! We were in Priesthood yesterday and they were ordaining a new decon. So the bishop says ´´this is the job for the President´´ so I thought he meant the presdient of the young mens or something, but he meant the President of the Decons (also the only decon in the ward). So this little gordito waddles up to the front to ordain this little 75 pound kid the the Aaronic Priesthood and the the office of a Decon! And I looked at my companion and he looked at me and we just shook our heads. We didn´t want to embarass the bishop so we waited to tell him. The poor Decon´s Quorum President looked so helpless as the bishop whispered the words in his ears! Poor kid! And once it came time for the blessing part of it he just sat there and looked at us like ´´What the heck do you want me to say?!´´ But we got it figured out!
   A kind of sad thing happened this week. We´re teaching this kid named Ch*** and he it set to be baptized this Saturday the 26th. He ended up telling us that he went to jail for two years (he is 16 by the way) on false charges. I was like ´´You´ve got to be kidding me!´´ I believed him that they were false charges but they weren´t and now the President has to talk with him! But this kid is ready to change! He comes to church on his own every sunday at 8! He has a really strong tesitmony of repentance and all I want to talk about with him is that any sin can by forgiven through the Atonement! I hope the interview goes well with the President! 
   Anyways things are good. The members give us nothing but tamales. And these tamales are different than in the states. They are literally giant bone that may or may not have meat on it stuffed inside a bunch of corn dough. It is literally the worst thing that has hit the earth. Also a lady this week decided to serve us a  nice generous serving of pig brain. I would rather eat my own armpit hairs mixed with my belly button lint than eat that ever again. I threw up for seven hours after that.
    Love you guys! Nice job with the Steelers! thanks for not sending my pictures of the game because i don´t even like to see highlights anyways. Just kidding I guess it is fair because I didn´t bring my camera again. Ha ha Merry Chirstmas! ´´And God bless us......... Every one!!´´ Literally I have never hated a quote more than that one. I don´t know why it just bugs the stuff out of me.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Week #17

Hello Mommy! Well I had ch-ch-ch-ch-chages (Like the song from the Shrek 2 album. What a classic movie album. I hope you know the song I am talking about. I´m pretty sure David Bowie sings in the song) Anyways yeah I had changes which is really very odd. I should not have changes already but the Lord sent me to a different area so that is that. I´ve already had freaking 4 companions and I don´t even have 4 months! What is wrong with me? I have no idea. Anyways it has really sad leaving Pamalita and Reu because they are literally like my family. Elder Fickes, Elder Gayheart and Elder Ellsworth are all there and they are literally like my brothers but oh well life goes on.
   Anyways they sent me to an area in the city Mazatenango!!!! Mazatenago is literally the area that I always wanted to go to when I was in Reu every P Day! It is the greatest city in Guatemala besides Guatemala City. They have Subways, TacoBell, Wendy´s, Pollo Campéro, Pizza Hut and literally everything you could want and it is all in my area! For short they call Mazatenango Mazate. It´s a way nice area but it was so sad leaving Pamalita because they baptized Bryan and Hiedi two days ago! My last night I was there I went to give them a lesson and it was the greatest lesson of all time! I can´t believe how changed they were from the first time I met them. When I met them the first time they didn´t want to get married or nothing they didn´t even want to talk with us! But the last lesson they had no idea that I was leaving the next day and I started bawling my eyes out because I was so sad to leave them! But hey at least they got married and baptized and everything turned out really good!
     So my area is really rich that I am in. Everyone has houses, a lot of people have cars, and literally everyone has shoes! I was so shocked by the shoes thing for some reason! It reminds me of that spongebob episode when they are looking in the magazine of the rich people and Spongebob goes ´´Wow he is so rich he has a pool inside of his pool´´ and Patrick goes ´´And he has shoes!´´ So classic!
    Speaking of shoes if I was at home right now I know for a fact that Colin would be playing Christmas Shoes and crying in the car! And I would be blasting O, Holy Night´´ By Celine Dion because it is the greatest song ever!
    And lastly about my new companion...... So in our mission we have a big meeting in Reu and everyone who is changing areas comes to Reu. So they went through the whole proccess and what have you and I found out I was going to Mazate and my companion´s name is Elder V. I heard a little bit about him before I met him.  Anyways this is his last change in the mission so he wants to go home to Honduras. I don´t know. I am sick of being nice. I´m sick of not baptizing.  We´ll see how it goes. He is a nice guy. I told him that we have to break his record of baptisims this change because this change is 2 weeks longer. Also when I got here we had no investigators so that is a problem that I am trying to fix with him. Good heavens.
    As for the Steelers!!!! I love that stuff! I can´t believe Andy Dalton tried to tackle Stephon Tuitt! That dude is HUGE! But good stuff! How is the Wild Card stuff looking? I have no idea if the Broncos are good or not anymore. They seem really off and on.  Also I can Skype you the 23. That is the day. So make sure your Skype works and everything. It will probably be in the night. Anyways email me! Love you! 

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Week #16

The following was the first email I got from Bryson today and I sat at my desk and cried until he sent me another one, haha Emoji:

"We literally just had an earthquake! That was crazy fun! Everyone is okay! And nothing is broken!"

Here is his main email for the week:

Hey mama! It was an alright week! We didn't have any baptisms which was a bummer but hopefully we will have some this week! Ha ha nice Jen Brown giving props to Will Ure! I always said that he was underrated and nobody listened to me! Also I had a tender mercy this morning when I was eating breakfast in Pollo Campero and the highlight from the Steelers Colts game came on! I was so pumped! I got to see all the touchdowns and was so happy to catch a little glimpse of some good old football! I was very satisfied! If it isn't too big of a problem then I would like the weight set but if it is a problem then get it out of there! Also I got three giant packages of Candy from you, Shalese and Ryan and Em and Caren and Grandma! I was so happy! They came! Also i got a letter from you from September! Good stuff!
     So yeah this week was good not great. I went to El Codo on Saturday and had to ride a bike of one of the members because the bikes from the mission were broken. And literally the seat was made out of concrete! It hurt so bad! I will never be able to sit comfortably ever again! But El Codo was alright. It is really hot there. And it hasn't rained in over a week here! So it was a really hot week.
    So while I was in El Codo my companion went on divisions with my best friend in the mission Elder Gayheart!  But that is where things are going right now! I'm not going to lie I am trying really hard, but sometimes I want to punch a hole in the wall which would be impossible here because literally every wall is pure concrete! But I could maybe do it if I was mad enough
    During the Christmas season here there are a lot of fire crackers and stuff and like fireworks that are literally bombs! So the missionaries like to try to scare us with fireworks. It was like seven thirty one morning and I had already done my morning routine so I went to study early! Elder Galicia was in the shower. And Elder Fikes and his companion somehow got into the house and threw a bomb in the center of the floor. I heard the noise of the firework landing on the gound and thought it was just Elder Galicia but the shower was still going so I turned around and saw a huge bomb 5 feet away from me and plugged my ears! It explode a half a second later and I felt like i was in Saving Private Ryan or something! I couldn't hear anything and there was smoke everywhere and paper and stuff it was so funny!
     Also we went to Champerico today for P Day to go to the beach and it was so incredible! There was nobody there and it is such a pretty beach! I need to invest in a resort there or something! Anyways we played football and all that good stuff!
     So we have been teaching a family for a while. It's is just a husband and a wife named Bryan and Hiedi. They are so cool! they have rejected the missionaries a thousand times but finally let us teach them! We talked about baptism and stuff and they are ready to get baptized this Saturday but they have to get married first! They told me that they just want an eternal family! So I think we can to it this week! They are awesome people!
      We got to watch a christmas devotional yesterday from Salt Lake! it was so classic! We brought 7 investigators to it and they were all so bored but I loved it! Especially the music because I love stuff in english now! But yeah that was good stuff yesterday! Pray that we will get baptisms this week because if we don't I am going to go on a rampage! Ha ha!
       Love you! Good luck with selling the house I have some good pictures to send! Email me!
Bryson on the roof of his apartment

Beach for P-day

Bryson said he's sitting on a "unicorn", I think it's a seahorse, haha

Destroyed candy I sent him

A letter that took 3 months to get there!

His new apartment next month

Spider when he had to shower with a bucket


His zone on the beach

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Week #15

Oh my gosh I woke up this morning and I went to McDonalds and they were playin the Steelers Seahawks highlights and que chafa! I was so mad! I saw Antonio Brown eat the ground and that was totally Richard Shermans fault! And Elder Fickes loves the Seahawks! Oh well such is life! Also glad to see that Shalese finally joined a gang (she gave a gang sign during one of our Thanksgiving pictures, haha). I knew it was only a matter of time, living in Ogden and what not. But I prefer a good Crip over a Blood but hey Shalese can make her own decisions. Also I was literally thinking on Thursday ´´who is going to say they prayer at thanksgiving now that I´m gone????´´ But It looks like you had that covered more or less! But God answered your prayer mom becasue on Thanksgiving I ate like 700000000 zillion pounds of turkey, pumpkin pie, apple pie, and so much mashed potatoes! I have literally never been more full in my entire life!
    So this week was good I guess! Our numbers really sucked but they say it isn´t about the numbers so that is alright. We have this family that we have been teaching for a while and a member of the ward and his family literally come to every lesson that we teach them. And they finally came to church on Sunday so that´s the good stuff (like the song by Kenny Chesney). But yeah the dad is named Bryon and he is literally the anti-Chapin! He got in a really bad motorcycle accident because some dogs ran in front of him in the middle of the road. And if that happened to any Guatemalan they would go dog hunting for like a year because the only reason that people have dogs here is so they can have something to beat when they are mad! But he said ´´It´s not the dogs fault, they don´t know any better.´´ And he was talking to us about parenting and he said that it is better not to hit your kids! I couldn´t believe it because literally every person here beats their kids for a punishment! He is such a great guy. Him and his wife need to get married first though which is expensive but whatever. So hopefully they can get married.
    Also a funny but really sad story that happened this week! So there are like a thousand phrases to say that somebody died in Guatemala! Anyways so we went to a members house this week and we were talking and I asked her where her dog was and she said ´´ella colgó los tenis´´ and I had no clue what that meant becasue I don´t know that much slang! But appearantly it means that she died! It was funny because she was crying and I had no idea why! But it was sad because the dog just barely birthed 5 cute little puppies and she was a really cute dog named Canela. Oh well. And three cute little puppies died of a different member in the ward so that is sad becuse there is only one pupp left. I sent all the pictures of those dogs to you I think!
    Anyways it was an alright week. I went on divisions with my zone leader Elder Lagos and he is the greatest person ever! He has 22 (like the song) months in the mission! We ran into a really drunk guy that lived in the states for a while so he knew a little bit of english. The drunk people we call bolos! Anyways so everyone knows that most of the Mormons speak english so he started talking to me in English and offered me some of his alcohol and said ´´NO ITS CLEAN! HAVE SOME´´ And he said the f word 70000000 times and it was so funny but bad I guess. Anyways it was an alright week. I have more stuff to say but It isn´t that important or entertaining so I´ll just leave it at that. Who do the Steelers play next week? Love you email me fast!

Monday, November 23, 2015

Week #14

 Hello mama! So this week was probably the worst week that anyone has ever experienced of all time in the history of people! Not really, but it was not a very good week. It was definetly the worst week of my mission. It was like the devil went straight YAMS on every single one of our investigators! We finished the week with no investigators progressing, no investigators with a baptism date and nobody in the church this week. I couldn't believe how bad of a week it was.
  We had an investigator named Josolin whose grandma is a really great member and she lived with her grandma and she wanted to get baptized but she ended up moving to her parents house during the week and she is only her on Saturday and Sunday. And her parents are really catholic and they wont give us permission to baptize her. But this is pretty normal. The thing that was the worst is we had an investigador who was like really secure to be baptized on the 28th named Luis but his family got in a fight with Josolin's family and now they are all mad and contentious and because we are teaching both of them they dont want anything to do with us. So it is unlikely that they will get baptized during my time in my area. So that was really bad.
   It rained literally every day this week so everyone just slept for a week straight. Nobody would answer their doors and nobody wanted to talk to us in the street and on top of it all we lost every single one of our progressing investigators. They just decided that they didn't want a religion anymore. It is so weird! Everyone fell for literally no reason this week. I realized that nobody in Guatemala takes anything seriously and that's why we can teach so many people. Because they dont think it's a big deal letting strangers teach them about Jesus! And if they get bored of our message , they just tell us to never come back! Anyways it was a rough week but there is always good in every week.
   This morning we found a family who is super incredible. They are family friends with some people in our ward and they don't like La Iglesia Evangelica so that always helps! I dont want to talk bad about other churches but really La Iglesia Evangelica literally has meetings just to try to convince people that there is no way to be saved and that the life on earth should be sad and everyone should cry all day, on and that La Iglesia de Jesucristo de Los Santos de Los Últimos Días is straight from Satan. So if people believe in the teachings of that church they will never get baptized because they think that we are evil for having prophets and stuff. And the majority of the people here are Evangalicas. But the family that we found is super cool and we gave the mom a blessing and we just barely had met her!
   We also have a family home evening with another family tonight and I hope that we can progress them to baptism. We just need to commit them to going to church! But I think things will get better. Elder Fickes this week warned us all that we were going to get hammered this week and he was so right! Elder Fickes is going to be a prophet I think. He's my idol in the mission.
    Also we went to the temple in Xela this week and it was literally the most beautiful temple I have ever entered except for the one in Salt Lake. We went with our converts so they could do baptisms and we got to do an endowment session which was the greatest thing of all time! And it is so nice and cold in Xela! It is the perfect temperature there always! All the latinos were freezing their butts off! But that was awesome and they were having a Christmas parade too while we were in the bus!
    Anyways at least the Bengals lost twice.
    Love you email me soon! Also I told you that the Bengals would lose against the Texans! Grinning face with smiling eyesGrinning face with smiling eyesAlso I got one of your packages with the little tree and the dope Steelers ornament! Also the hot chocolate was literally the best idea that anyone has ever had! It is so freaking good! I just wish it wasnt so hot here all the time ha ah!  

Bryson with his companion, Elder Galicia

Bryson doing the "Jake Foster batting routine"

Getting ready to play baseball
"Grandpa Fickes"

His only Christmas decorations that I sent him

A picture of his street

Elder Gayheart getting ready to play baseball

His only Christmas tree, haha. I sent that, too.

the volcano errupted

The temple in Xela

Monday, November 16, 2015

Week #13-Cambios!!

Well this week was so weird! So I need to tell you that the word ´´changes´´ means two things. Its an amount of time (usually 6 weeks) and its also when you change areas. So anyways the way I use it depends on the context. So Elder Vides had changes this week which was the most unexpected thing of all time. We thought the zone leaders where joking because there is this guy in the zone who has been in his area for 7 months and everyone thought that we was going to change. But no it was Elder Vides and the other zone leader Elder Solorio. Elder vides went to his first area called La Batalla and he was not happy about returning to an area. But anyways I have a new companion!
    My new companion is a dude from Tabasco Mexico and I dont think he has even heard of the sauce before!! He is a big brown giant and is the exact opposite of Elder Vides. He really likes to work and talk with everybody which is good because now I actually feel good every single day. Anyways it was fun!
   Also after Elder Vides dropped the phone and the battery came out like it always does. But appearantly it has a freaking PIN that only Vides knows! So it was hard to go this week without a phone. But we got the number its 8653 and I just remember it by Hienz Ward Maurkice Pouncey. 
   We didnt have much happen this week except for one thing that I will mention. So we have these investigators who are catholic which is hard when the actually go to church but the majority of catholics dont go to church and dont believe in much. I thought that they didnt go to church but I was dead wrong. We showed up one day and there were a bunch of people sitting around their house and my first thought was ´´sweet! We get to get more investigators´´ But then they told us that they were missionaries from the catholic church and they have a meeting every week at the house of our investigators! There were literally like 57000000 zillion of them! But we sat down and axed if we could share a message with the family and they said ´´vaya´´ which means ´´okay´´ in Guatemala. So we decided to give lesson one! The Resoration of the Gospel of Jesucristo. Every time we mentioned anything about Joseph Smith or The Book of Mormon they all had a nice eye rolling fest! I wanted to share Chapter 40 from Jesus the Christ with them but I decided not to. Anyways we dont really teach that family much anymore.
   It was like a stake conference thing this sunday in Central America for every stake. It was cool ha ha! It was mainly a bunch of like 70s who served missions in Central America 600 years ago trying to speak spanish! The people couldnt understand anything! I understood everything ha ha! But David A. Bednar talked and he had a translator. It was really good. I liked it! Sister Marriott doesnt even speak spanish and they made her try to talk! She went to Brazil on her mission with her husband! They ended up cutting her off and getting her a translator which was kind of funny! What great people! I would totally say ¨´No ill just speak English´´ It was a valiant effort by sister Marriott! 
   Anyways nothing else really happened this week. We played soccer today with the zone and basketball and I think I tore my AMC or my TLC something! It hurt so bad but Im okay now. I was sick the whole week and I am still sick! I think I should probably talk to the nurses lol. 
     Wholly cow the Steelers destroyed the Browns! Good I freaking hate the browns more that anything! And freaking Ben tore it up! That is awesome! and did you say that the Steelers picked up Jacoby Jones?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? That is blasphamy! did they pick up Joe Flacco too? And did Ray Lewis come out of retirement to play for the Steelers? Please say we didnt hire John Harbaugh to be the defensive coordinator!!!! Speaking of defensive coordinator? Where the heck is Dick LeBeau? What team did he end up choosing?
      Also that Episode of Spongebob is literally the funniest thing of all time. My favorite is when Patrick is playing with Squidward and goes ´´AND THEN COMES THE GIANT FIST!!!´´ 
Patrick ´´Oh............ AND THEN COMES THE GIANT FIST´´!!!!!! 
   so classic and why would Squidward ever want to marry the pickle.
   Anyways yeah good stuff I read today in McDonalds that Peyton is hurt and Shalese told me! Good stuff. JK that is mean, but I hate the Broncos. May he rest in peace with his 10000003838 thousand records.
    Also *S*S will never ever bomb Guatemala! Unless they want to erradicate the world of crazy Evangelicos, they just think that Mormons aren´t people. They think because the chruch was Restored in the states, it is from the devil ha ha.  Yeah, no the people here are just not anything like the people in America. Ive never seen people that just do whatever they want whenever they want. If they dont want to do something then they dont do it. Also the religions here are literally straight from Satan. They always cry and say the most appauling things. They beleive that nobody can be saved. They believe that their pastors can turn into doves and stuff and they think that we eat children. When we went to take peoples children to church some people went and talked to the mom and told her that if she let them go that we would eat them. And people believe this stuff. Nobody can read and there arent like records of anything. It is really hard.
    Anyways write me quick! Ill talk to you in a short week! Love you!

Monday, November 9, 2015

Week #12-´´Hot blooded! I got a disease. I got a fever of one hundred and 3!´´

I think that is how the song goes but I literally have no idea. Anyways yesterday I literally did not sleep because I had the worst fever of my entire life and I was freezing! Anyways I was thinking to myself that my fever had to be like a 103 degrees and then I got that song stuck in my head. Anyways that isnt important because i feel better now because I took like 50 ´´a seat of femanine´´s. (acetaphemonine). Anyways what a rockin´ awesome week! We had another double double with 5 touchdowns and a freaking grand slam! I was so happy! I baptized Gilberto Exiterio Gonzalez Piedra Santa on Saturday and it was good stuff. I didnt even mess up! Ill send some pictures!
   I was so nervous but I was so happy that everything worked out. We were getting everything prepared for the service and I looked up in the sky and literally in every direction there were clouds! I was so terrified because if it rains then literally nobody does nothing and the baptizm would probably had to have been posponed! I literally kneeled down as soon as I saw the clouds and prayed that there would be no rain until the Gilberto was at the church and ready! And it didnt rain so that was a miracle because there were literally clouds everywhere and it rains every day in Guatemala. Anyways the service was really good. Gilberto had a lot of family there and a friend came who wasnt a member of Giblerto´s and we had a lot of people form the ward show up! It was good stuff! I just want to get more though! Also he showed up to church the next day to get confirmed which I guess doesnt happen that much. So that was awesome too!
   But yeah we counted how many lessons we taught this change and it was 126! And we only got one baptizm! It was crazy! I cant believe that you teach that many lessons and only one person gets baptized out of it. It was totally worth it though! It was the greatest feeling of my entire life!
  Anyways it was a good week. The way skinny guy who we gave a blessing to last week died on Friday which is good stuff! Right now Im just nervous that I have to to do another ´´exam´´. So the first time I got sick here (I dont know if I told you this story or not) I had to go to this place in the city that tests you to see what type of disease you have. So we went there in the morning and they give me this tiny little cup and tell me to go into the bathroom. So I go in the bathroom and pee in the cup like Ive done a thousand times! So I come out and Vides was all like ´´no´´. So I had no idea what he meant. then he started talking in spanish and I had no idea what he was trying to tell me. Appearantly I had to give a sample of my poo! I was so mad! they gave me another tiny cup and I had to go back into the bathroom on the toilet that didnt have a toilet seat and try to aim into this tiny little cup when i had literally the most explosive diah that anybody has ever had in the history of man kind. It was disgusting. Anyways I dont want to do that again.
   Anyways that is besides the point. I went on divisions with Elder Fickes this week and  love going on divisions with him in my area. Elder Fickes is my grandpa from Idaho and he has 15 months out here. Anyways he loves football! We we literally talked about football for 100000000 zillion hours and it was great. He is a huge Boise State fan. Anyways so we went to bed and the reason why I was on divisons with him was because Elder Vides had to go into Xela to fill some cavities for the day. Anyways so were in our beds and we´re just chatting away and then I heard a knocking on the door downstairs. So I say outloud ´´Somebody is at the house´´ and then Fickes goes ´´What?´´ And then I said that somebody was here. And he thought that I meant that somebody was actually inside on the house in the kitchen! So he goes ´´OKAY GET UP´´ and he hops out of bed with his fists ready to knock somebody out! I was laughing so hard! He totally thought that somebody was there to rob us or something! It was so classic! So then we let Vides in the house (he was with another missionary in case you were wondering).
    Anyways we got two new investigators this week from the Hermanas in the zone next to us. They taught these two kids like a million lessons but then the kids moved into our area and now they are ours which is nice! They are awesome kids! One of them has a smoking problem but I think he beleives in the word of wisdom so thats good stuff. Hopefully we baptize them this month!
    Anyways I am so freaking tired! The first change really killed me! We find out tomorrow if Elder Vides is leaving pamalita or not. Id be suprised if he leaves. But were really starting to work a lot harder. Ive never seen Vides so fired up! Its so great! 
     So I have decided that I will only drink Pepsi during the football seasons for the Steelers. And I think it will work but at the same time i have no idea because freaking Ben Rothisberger got hurt again! Anwways they have this big 3 liter bottles of soda here that they call ´´jumbos´´ But it is pronounced yumbo. So my first two weeks I called them Wumbos like from that episode of Spongebob ´´I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, we wumbo.. Its second grade Spongebob!!!!      -Im sorry I doubted you patrick´´ What a great quote. Anyways so  I called them Wumbos just for my entertainment and Vides thought I was a moron and corrected me every time. But now I just call them Yumans!!! Vides thinks Im literally the stupidest person to ever live! But I just do it for my entertainment. But that is besides the point. What the heck I was expecting that Ben got punched in the face again by the Raiders defensive lineman! Crap that sucks though! I hate it when Steelers get hurt! they need to pray more for saftey or something. Anyways do they have their bye week next week? Also I have no letters from you and I would like to mention that Elder Gayheart got straight up robbed by the mail service! They took everything of value out of his package ha ha! Sad but it is the truth! You need to put classic stickers of Jesus on the packages or they will get robbed! Okay? Love you I will send you pictures.

Bryson's first baptism-Gilberto

Last group picture of Zone Retalhuleu before transfers

Puppies in his area

Monday, November 2, 2015

Week #11

You have got to be kidding me! Poor Le`Veon! That is the worst ever! Stupid Bengals! Dang well Im mad about that but its all good! DeAngelo Williams will do good things! But still that is rough for Bell. So yeah things are really good here in Guatemala! Better than in Pittsburgh! Also what the heck,
there is nothing better than some classic Garth Brooks! What the meat is Grandma doing at a concert until 2 in the morning! She is a freaking rock star!
   Anyways yeah things are getting better! I always have a lot of stuff happen to me and I never know what to share! But anyways this week was really good. We had a multi-zone meeting this week with like 4 other zones in the nicest church I have ever seen in my entire life! It is so incredible! It was built like 3 months ago or something and it smells so new. But that is besides the point! Anyways President Ruiz lit a fire in every missionary in that meeting! We are 400 people away from breaking the record of baptizms here in Misión Retalhuleu (El mas poderoso misión en el mundo) so we are trying so hard to break it because that would be fantastic! That means that every companionship has to baptize 6 people each by the end of the year which is doable! So everyone is really excited about that.
    We had a good week! He had a double double with two touchdowns! A double double is when we get double digits in two of catagories from lessions with members, otherlessions, new investigators, or lessions with less actives or recent converts. And a touchdown is when we get people to go to church with us. So we had a double double with 11 other lessions and 10 new investigators. Which is good not great. We were close to a triple double with 9 lessions with members but we didnt get it! Rough life! But anyways it was a good week. I was a lot happier this week.
   So it was funny I went on divisons with Elder Fickes who is the district leader (and also my grandpa in the mission) and there was this guy that I had contacted like 2 weeks ago named Juan. So I decided to go back to his house and see if we wanted to learn a little bit more with Elder Fickes. So we get there and I see him in his yard and I say ´´Hermano Juan que honda?´´ And then he said that Juan wasnt home even though he is Juan! So I was confused. But I knew for sure that his name was Juan! So I get closer to him and make sure that he is the same guy! And I say no you are Juan! And he kept denying that he was Juan! So finally I go ´´Okay what the meat is your name then you stupid idiot jerk?¨´ And he literally sat there for 1 minute trying to think of a name and finally said ´´Soy Jorge!´´ and then he ran away and tried to hide behind his shed! But he couldnt fit! I have never laughed harder in my entire life! Then I said ´´Feliz noches Juan!¨´ We are not going to teach him.
    Also a really sad thing happened this week which was way sad and made my sad. So we were contacting with our bishop who is a really crazy guy but really awesome. But anyways we see one of the jóvenes in our ward hanging out with a non member so we went up to the kid and started teaching a lesson to his friend of the street. Anyways so after the lesson the kid in our ward took us into his house so that we could give his grandpa a blessing. So we walk in the room and I almost started crying. This 78 year old man was on this bed. I have never in all my years of life seen a person more emaciated and skinny. He was barely cognitive when we walked in. I dont think he could comprehend anything. His stomach was only maybe an inch or less above the bed I think the majority of his volume came from his rib cage. He appearantly hadnt eaten for 1 month but IVs have kept him alive or something. He was barely holding on when we went there. So we gave him a blessing and it was so powerful. But anyways I hope that he will pass on soon. It was sad.
    Yesterday was El Día de Los Muertos (day of the dead) and nobody really celebrates it very passionatly here in Reu. But the family who lives below us decided to give us a plate of the most incredible food I have ever seen called fiambre. And when I say incredible I mean the most disgusting thing that has ever hit the planet. It is like a salad of straight beets, mixed with lima beans, mixed with unidentifiable pieces of matter. And one Jalapeño. So because I literally didnt recognize what anything was on the plate I just went for the only thing that I knew. And that was the jalapeño. That was the worst idea I have ever had. I just pick it up and vides is shouting ´´Gallagher no! Pica Pica Pica! No comas lo!´´ But I was was literally so stupid in that moment and I bit it in half and 5 seconds later I was crying! I ran upstairs and started chugging the milk and it did not help! But it lasted like 15 minutes. But it was a blessing in disguise because I didnt have to eat the rest of the fiambre. 
    Other good news! Gilberto is ready to be baptized this Saturday so hopefully everything goes as planned. He is the most golden person I have ever seen. I have never seen so much change in any of my investigators! He really wants to change his life. I think that his esposa is helping us on the other side because I have never seen a person keep so many compromisos! He loves the book of mormon so that is just gravy! Anyways we have a family that we are teaching and we have been teaching the wife for a few weeks because the husband works a lot and finally we met him this week! It turns out that he has a ton of family in the church and a kid who has been on a mission for a month! So we are really hoping that they can be ready for baptism on the 20th. Anyways so I went on divisions with the Asistentes del Presidente to teach them about the law of chastity because they need to get married before we can baptize him. And we promised them that if they went to church on Sunday and they went to church and guess what happened! a random guy was passing by and gave them 30 Quetzales just out of no where. We have a
God of Miracles today for sure! Anyways I bore my testimony yesterday in my ward and I was the only one that cried but its all good! I hope that my investigators felt the Spirit. So hopefully next week I can tell you that I baptized someone ha ha!
    Anyways thats all I got this week. I actually have more but I am getting the carpel tunnel syndrome! Love you!

I told Bryson that it might snow this week here in Utah and here was his response:
 Mom snow is the best thing in the whole world. I love snow and hate the heat. So count your freaking blessings because some of us are roasting alive down here! Ha ha I have to go! Love you talk to you next week!"
           They put on a play of the Restoration for the Stake. Bryson played Noah and David.

Apartment in El Codo where he had to shower with a bucket

An investigator's puppy

Fiambre, worst food on earth according to Bryson!


Bryson was able to witness the live birth of these puppies!

The dog that lives with the people who they rent their apartment from.